They say that every man is still a child at heart and that the wives should cater to the needs of this inner child as much as she does to the man who is her husband. But what they don’t say usually is that the women too have a heart which craves to be a child again, to be cared for as though she was the only reason for somebody’s existence. She needs somebody who would get her a hot cup of tea to chase away her blues/cold or whatever it is that is troubling her. Just a gesture, to show that she is not alone.
When we were younger, every time we got a cold, Mom would warm us up with turmeric milk, hot mustard oil massage and a soothing head rub and Papa would go all out to buy a bottle or brandy (or was it rum?), mix it some warm water and ask us to gulp it down. I’m not sure what worked best, the alcohol or the head rub, but I’m sure I wasn’t as miserable as I feel now.
I got a cold last Saturday and immediately wanted to see my Mamma. As though just being with her would make me feel better. I miss her always, but most when I am down with an ailment or a heartache. I crave for her chukku-kappi (medicinal coffee), her tomato soup and her healing touch which is just so unique of my Mom. It has been three days since my cold started. Even though I’m popping pills left right and centre and drinking the customary chukka kappi, the gloomy feeling and the pounding headache just doesn’t go away. Hubby darling suggested I take the rum/brandy thingy but didn’t actually make it for me and I am too despondent at the moment to do it myself.
There was a time when I was working and living alone in BBSR and got Jaundice. I went to the doc and the tests on my own and got through a week before I felt it was too much to handle on my own. So I took the train back to Kolkata and remember sleeping through the entire 12 hour journey not even waking up to go to the loo. When Papa came to the station, he had to drag me out from my berth and take me home. His ashen face and my Mom’s fear showed me just how sick I was. The local Doc criticized them for letting me travel alone, but what he didn’t know and they didn’t know was that I was capable of doing everything on my own until I knew I had their backup. I had managed to stay up and about until the day I reached them and handed over myself to their care and support. But I felt better than what I did when I was alone, even though I was probably sicker.
Even now I call Mom and ask her to pray and send me reiki, for something as simple as Ryan’s PTM. Just knowing that she is aware of my situation, whatever it may be, and is praying for me and sending me positive energy is enough to get me through it.
Now I see Ryan following in my steps. He thinks I am around just to cater to his needs. According to him, Mom can kiss his boo-boo away and any pain/scratch/hurt can be cured, if I put some ice/cream and massage it for him. He embraces me, even if it was I who hurt him in the first place. I wish I could be there for him forever and that I could kiss his boo-boo and his hurt away whenever he needs me .But more than that I wish he would become like me, able to cope and stand proud through all his hurts and heartaches, even when I am not around to hold him and soothe him. He would know, just like I do in my heart, that Mom is always praying for me that no matter how bad things look like, there will always be a happy ending.
Mom you are the oasis of my life and my world expands a bit every day Ryan, with the baby steps you take.
