Friends

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.  ~ Lois Wyse

I’m an introvert .I do not make friends easily, but I’m happy to report, that when I do make friends, it’s usually for life. I have friends whom I can count on fingers and toes (and still have a few left to paint).Let me list them down here in the order that I made them. Nitu, Keya, Asha, Sudipta, Neeta, Jyotisikha, Debmitra, Neha, Tanzeem, Piku, Vidya, Pearl, Architha .and of course there’s my Mom Alice, my sister Sapna and off late my MIL Valsa too.

All of them have been my anchors at some point or other in my life. Even though it sounds clichéd, my family is my support system. These people weren’t friends right from the beginning… I ,like every girl, have a gone through a phase in my life when I didn’t agree with my Mom on something even as monotonous as the school uniform, apart from  other,  more serious things. But eventually there came a time, (maybe once I was married or became a mom or maybe just became a more mature person) where I suddenly realized that my Mom is the most wonderful woman I know and I aspired to be like her. Now, I turn to her for advice and guidance. I believe in her prayers and in her faith in me. She has the ability to bring out the best in me, just like I thought she brought out my worst when I was 17.Now, she is my confidante, my friend.

I and my sister had a hate –love relation. There was a time when we’d invade each other’s space, drive each other away and fight about everything under the sun. I’m infamous for having fought with her for jasmine flowers to adorn on my almost bald head (pinning the flowers on to a ribbon) when I was three (Scorpios’ personality traits are evident from a very young age!).But then she went away to college and came back a reformed person .She was kind and caring, loving and giving (this part I absolutely loved).She became my fairy godmother. I in turn did my best to maintain the peace and took up her ironing and other stuff to show my affection. We got along well and loved each other more each day. Now there’s hardly a day where don’t speak to each other. We are each other’s punching bags and soaking sponge. Though she still disapproves of some of my wild ways (read hair color and love of cocktails), we are each others’ biggest supporters. We’d endorse each others’ work, home, hobby, decisions, mistakes and everything in between without a second thought. We love each others’ kids as our own .We are there for us, no matter what.

Though my relation with my MIL was almost always very cordial, we ever never really close, until a couple of month’s back, when I visited her sans R. Even though I’ve spent time with her alone earlier also, this trip kind of brought us closer. We went shopping, walking, visiting sightseeing etc. And I felt a connection beyond the ’in-law ‘ relations .We reached out and connected as two individuals, without any prejudice or reservation. Now we call each other up often and chat, very much like how I do with my Mom and Sis. I am one happy DIL and I hope Amma would say the same about me .R is definitely very pleased with this feat. He might argue that the shopping together part did me in; I think it was the tension free atmosphere (without worrying what to feed our husbands and sons!!) that brought us closer.

A good friend is cheaper than therapy ~ Author Unknown

I can give testimony to this statement through various incidents in my life, the latest being my debut as a blogger in the online world.

Recently I was going through a particularly annoying patch in life with nothing much to do, when Nitu decided to step in. She had a few brain storming telecon sessions with me and finally managed to remind me that I used to once write, fairly well (even if I’m saying so myself) and that I should take it up again .Hence the blogs. And if I be honest with myself, she has truly helped me, to free myself of my grouchiness and made me a happier person. She and I go a long way back. She has stood by me for over a couple of decades, been with me in my moments of joy and cried with me in my worst.

Architha and I were colleagues first, so it was sort of a surprise to everybody around us (in fact to us too), when we hit it off well. You know, it is rare that women working in the same unit are good friends. We were the lovers of all things food, fun and frolic. We discussed about everything under the sun, be it office politics, familial issues, weight loss ideas and what not. We were each other solace on most of the toughest days. We got along well, in spite of the fact that we were both very moody .We just knew when to give space and when to crowd in to each other’s lives .She made my work days in DB enjoyable and ensured that I got diamonds when I resigned. (Now you know why I love her so much.)

Vidu and Pearl (God bless their hearts) welcomed me wholeheartedly into their lives when we were (kind of) thrown together without our consents. Our hubbies being best buddies, we were expected to socialize with each other. What the hubbies least expected, perhaps, was us to grow so close to each other and become best friends ourselves.  There was an unfortunate time when R’s Dad was unwell and he had to travel a lot. I was pregnant with Ryan then and needless to say, it was a very stressful time for me. Vidu and Renjith (her husband) went out of their way to help me, took me to their place so that I didn’t be alone, came and lived with me when they realized I was travelling too much in my delicate condition and went a couple of  extra miles just to satisfy my pregnancy cravings. When R and I were too unhappy to celebrate our first anniversary because it was exactly a month after R’s dad had passed away, Vidu and Pearl came home with all our friends and a cake and the food so that we didn’t spend the day being depressed and miserable.

They made me a part of their house parties, took me shopping, encouraged my cooking, and pampered my child with their love and gifts. We became a sort of sorority sisters, organizing ladies night out & surprise birth day parties, shopping for each other, saving each other from the collective jibes of our husbands, and just being there for each other when we needed it most.

Piku and I met at work and became friends, just like that. She’s one of those few people whose frequency matches with mine to a T. She is a good listener and an empathetic speaker. She’s beautiful on the outside as well as inside .She’s who she is and lets me be who I am. No conditions apply.

My friends Kunu (Jyotisikha), Puchu (Debamitra), Neha (Niharika) and Tanzeem were the only ones in college who loved me, supported and accepted me the way I was. Without Kunu’s notes and my Mom’s prayers, I would have probably flunked at my BE finals. Neha was my personal beauty expert, Puchu was my friend and philosopher, and Tanzeem and I shared a tomboyish streak. We’d spend nights sitting on the terrace and contemplating our futures, doing planchet -invoking spirits ,dancing away to glory on each other’s birthdays ,after having smeared the cake on to our oh so beautiful faces. They made the most torturous four years of my life bearable, livable and fun.

My friends Keya, Asha, Sudipta and Neeta are like the rocks of my foundation. We hooked up from when we in our 5^th or 6^th grade. These are the people who can look into my eyes and say when I am wrong, without flinching. And if in spite of the warning, if I went ahead with my plans (stubborn that I am),they’d stand by me, not abandoning me ,to gather my broken and bruised pieces. They’d put me back together, brush off the pain and the dust and off we’d go on our next adventure. Now we are all grown women. Each of us have new lives and new friends, but we can still pick up our conversation (after months/years of not being in touch) from where we left it last. Even now when we talk, we start giggling like the teenagers we once were and we find that the little girls in us have not gone away completely. I for one am glad of that fact.

I am grateful to have been blessed with these wonderful women as my friends.

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.  ~Author Unknown